


someone will love you

by softboyminho



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, Fluff, M/M, Smut, i want all the tags, the rest of the members arent really mentioned please forgive me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-08-29 14:17:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16745572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softboyminho/pseuds/softboyminho
Summary: and he hates it—hates how everyone expects him to be a certain way, hates it how everyone expects him to be happy all the time. but the harsh reality is that he isn’t. he has negative emotions just as much as the next person and because of the constant spotlight, theres no way for him to let it out.





	someone will love you

**Author's Note:**

> in no way shape or form do i mean to romanticize binge eating in any way or fashion. this is simply for the story and was originally supposed to send out a message and it still does a bit, but is a bit unrealistic and not how the real world works. 
> 
> unedited and will be soon but i have a headache :(
> 
> also, smut is hard to write and i'm very bad at it i'm sorry.

everyone has bad days. 

being sad was a natural human emotion we all experience, it happens. and jisung knows people have it way worse than him, he knows there are starving children, he knows there are innocent people being brutally beat for their race, gender, or sexuality. 

jisung has a roof over his head, warm bed that he can always come back to, and eight great best friends. but here he is, crying on the bathroom floor because a song he put his heart and soul into got denied. again.

he throws these pity parties quite often nowadays. they come with the new addition of music loud enough for his ears to bleed through the ear pods and food. he guilty opens the box of glaze donuts for the third time this week. his members think he’s taking a bath.

and he hates it—hates how everyone expects him to be a certain way, hates it how everyone expects him to be happy all the time. but the harsh reality is that he isn’t. he has as many negative emotions as the next person but the constant spotlight kept him from letting it out. 

that’s the thing that sucked about being an idol. you don’t know where the cameras are, who could be waiting for he next big scandal. its silly, honestly. 

which is why crying on their dirty bathroom floor had become some sort of therapy for him—a sanctuary, if you will. a place where he could cry and eat all the food without judgment, without having to worry that someone is watching him stuff his face like a pig and he’ll wake up to another negative headline again.

a place to forget. 

jisung guiltily bites into the first donut out of twelve, feeling the tears fall onto the box that is now missing one. it’ll be empty soon. 

he sighs, placing his head on the cupboard in front of him as he quickly finishes the first and moves on to the next. sometimes, he likes to think that he’s preparing for an eating competition, and he hates it that he’s not. 

he hates that theres absolutely no reason for him to do this other than to calm his nerves. there are so many habits he can choose from that are way better than this. but stress eating? the actual worst, especially as an idol. 

it didn’t take the fans long before they began to notice jisung’s weight gain. the way his cheeks would fill out a little more than they used to. the way the distance in-between his thighs shrunk until thigh gaps were nothing but a memory. started to close and if his shirt was tight enough you could see the faint outline of his love handles. jisung was just grateful that all the weight went to his thighs. 

but suddenly, he wasn’t so thankful because the next thing he knew, he had ripped his jeans during their I AM YOU stage. it was embarrassing, but it only got worse when he got backstage. 

“jisungie’s been eating well, huh?” changbin wrapped his arm around jisungs shoulders while laughing. jisung knew his friend was kidding, he knew it was all a joke but he hated it, hated how accurate his friend really was. but all he could do was laugh it off, and hope changbin’s hand wouldn’t drift down to his arm because then he’d feel more of the weight jisung had packed on. 

hyunjin ran up behind jisung, smacking his ass on the way. jisung knew the older had made a habit of hitting the members butts while walking past but jisung couldn’t ignore the feeling of the way his ass jiggled afterwards. he hated it. 

“i wish i had an ass like yours,” hyunjin said, grabbing on to it before shaking his hand only for jisungs ass to come with it, “changbin look! it jiggles,” changbin laughed with hyunjin. they laughed and laughed and it echoed. echoed in jisungs head, bouncing back and forth in between his ears and followed him into the car. 

the car ride was silent and long. too silent. they didn’t have to film their usual skz talker for a while and everyone was drained from doing I AM YOU on stage for the first time. jisung cursed himself for forgetting his bag back at the dorms, which had his ear pods, and sadly, his change of clothes. jeongin offered his second pair of sweatpants and jisung was so close to taking them before he heard changbin yell “be careful with those, he might rip them,” and jisung had never shook his head so quickly in his life. 

when they got back to the dorms, most of them made a bee line to the bathroom to try to get to the showers first, but jisung went straight to his bedroom to find a new pair of pants. he opened his bag that he was going to take with him to their comeback stage. he threw the sweatpants on, ignoring how they dug into his waist more than they did a few days ago, and set out to the convenience store. 

he waved at the bored college student working there, who let out a tired “welcome” before going back to his studies, and continued to the back. jisung had gotten tired of the donuts recently, and seeing as he ate four dozen this past week, he decided to go straight to the ramen. 

jisung grabbed about seven packs of shin noodles before heading to the cashier. the boy stood up before ringing up all of the food, and jisung felt his heard drop with each beep. 

beep.

beep.

beep.

beep.

beep.

beep.

beep.

“that will be 17000 won,”

jisung shouldn’t be eating all of this, hell, he shouldn’t be eating any of it. he thought he had gotten rid of this, the binge eating. but sometimes you get stressed when you’re an idol and this is what happens. 

“sir?”

he wished that he had something different. maybe something bad could happen in his life so he knows never to do this gain. maybe he should go-

“sir!” jisung snapped out of his daze. 

“i-sorry, can you repeat what you said? i didn’t hear you,” the college student scoffed, probably because jisung looks stupid. still in his shirt and makeup from their stage but in sweatpants that were too small. he looks a mess. 

“the price of these is 17000 won,” jisung quickly reaches into his wallet, to pull out the proper amount. “thank you,” jisung says before taking the bagged items and leaving. the boy had given him a weird look, but he didn’t realize it until now. 

shit, he’s crying.

before jisung reached the dorm, he made sure the traces of crying were gone. no tear tracks, no red eyes. he’s happy, just like he’s supposed to be. he quietly closed the door, noticing most of the lights were off and it was silent. perfect. 

he toes his shoes off and creeps throughout the house. he makes a bee-line to the bathroom and throws all of the ramen in the cupboard under the sink. whenever he chooses to eat ramen he uses sink water. is he nasty? yes. but its better than getting caught. 

he heads to his room. he’s thankful, that he gets his own room. no one judges him when he walks in with a bag of seven empty ramen cups that night before hiding it under his bed to throw away in the morning. so when he finally walks back into his room, after his bathroom endeavors, he’s startled when he sees chan on his bed. 

“um, hey hyung,” jisung quickly panics, not knowing what to do with the evidence he has in his hands. he places it under his desk before redirecting his attention to the man on his bed. 

“sung, can i sleep in here tonight? changbin is snoring like a bitch and I’m not trying to deal with that all night long,” jisung smiles before grabbing the second pillow he has on his bed. 

“sure! I’ll just go sleep in the living room or something…,” 

“your bed is big enough for the two of us, right?” and jisungs face had turned as red as the color on the shin cups he had eaten earlier. no one knew, but jisung of course, but he had the fattest crush on chan and he didn’t know if it was safe, sleeping in the same room, let alone the same bed. 

“i-i, yea, i guess so,” jisung stuttered, turning back around. but chan’s gaze was off, he wasn’t looking at jisung, causing the younger to turn around to see if someone was there. all he sees is an empty door, but he hears a sharp inhale. only then, he realizes his pajamas weren’t very pg. sure, he’s in a black sweatshirt, but also very short shorts. they were made of satin and a deep red. they had also gotten slightly tighter seeing as jisungs recent weight gain has had a massive effect on his lower body—namely his thighs and ass.

and its not jisung’s fault either, he sleeps alone and wakes up early enough to change into basketball shorts when he wakes up. “o-oh, sorry, i’ll change,” jisung says awkwardly, placing the pillow down before scurrying off to the closet. 

“no! i mean, don’t worry about it,” chan scratched the back of his head nervously, “i don’t mind. it’s late anyway and the boys want to see a movie tomorrow. we should probably get some rest,” jisung nods hesitantly, moving to turn the lights off. they get cozy underneath the covers, chan spooning jisung. it’s awkward, and jisung hates it. 

“so,” chan started off. he noticed the awkward energy as well, “i can’t sleep anymore,” 

“neither can i,” jisung sighs, rolling over to face the australian. chan sits up on his forearm, causing jisungs head to rest on it a little more than he should. chan may never reciprocate his feelings but he’s going to appreciate the skin ship as much as he can. 

“sorry if i made you uncomfortable earlier i—,”

“don’t work yourself up about it,” jisung sends a tightly lipped smile chans way, “seriously,”

chan smiles back, humming deeply. and they just stared at each other, until it became too much, causing jisung to back away. he squinted his eyes shut, a habit he does when the bad thoughts become to much. he opens his eyes to see chan staring down at him, worriedly. “sorry,” jisung whispered. 

“don’t be. you okay?” jisung nodded, he didnt trust his voice, “you seemed a tad smad after changbin and hyunjin joked with you earlier,” 

“smad?”

“angry and sad,” and wow, jisung really likes bang chan, a lot. and jisung hated it, hated that he couldn’t be normal, first it was the fact that he’s been eating more than the healthy amount lately, and now his in love with his band mate. not only that, but his male bandmate. seriously, whats wrong with him? but jisung keeps all these thoughts to himself and shrugs.

“yeah, I’m fine,” chan eyed him warily. 

“you don’t look f—“

“i said I’m fine, okay?” jisung snapped. he hated it how everyone acted like they cared, like they want him to get better. he hated that he let his feelings get the best of him and now he made chan angry. he was supposed to bring smiles to peoples faces, not take them away. “…sorry,” jisung apologized, and suddenly his fingers became way more interesting than the rest of the world. 

“no, i hit a soft spot, i should be sorry,” and all jisung could do was shake his head because he feels like his whole body is a fucking soft spot. he notices chans eyes drifted again, causing him to follow the older eyes to his thighs. again. 

“chan…”

“i—fuck, I’m sorry. i just—i really like your thighs,” and the last part was breathy. so much so that jisung had to strain his ears to see it and he wished he hadn’t. 

“o—oh,” 

“that was completely out of line, i should probably go I’m sorry,” jisung grabbed chan’s hand because after the last comment there was no way he was going to let chan leave. not after that.

“no, stay. it gets lonely in here anyways,”

“but i probably weirded you out i—,”

“n—no, I’m just not used to compliments, ’s all,” and jisung didn’t know why but suddenly he felt drunk. he didnt know if it was from the compliment or the way chan smelled—vanilla, he smelled like vanilla. and jisung really liked vanilla. 

the two boys were sitting on the bed, chan on the edge looking at his feet guilty and jisung sitting indian style. chan kept eyeing the bag of ramen on the table. “…did you eat all of those?” 

half of jisung wished he’d let chan leave and they would kill the awkward air tomorrow, and the other half was trying to make up a lie. but he couldn’t. there was no lie believable enough for chan to let him off the hook. jisung swallowed.

“i—yeah. i did,” chan hummed under his breath, turning to face jisung so now they were both facing each other.

“is that what you do everyday?”

jisung closed his eyes. maybe this was all a dream. maybe he’d wake up and he’d be in his room by himself, thirty pounds less, like he started when he had first became an idol. healthy as ever, problem free. 

“um, no.” it made jisung feel worse when he says things out loud, “they’re usually...um,” jisung gulped, “donuts but—,”

“how many,” chan inquired, cutting him off and startling the poor boy. 

“i beg your pardon?”

“how many donuts,” chan asked with no second thought, no hesitation. jisung didn’t know whether to be scared or turned on, seriously. 

“a dozen,” he sid quietly, maybe a little too quiet.

“how many? i can’t hear you,”

“a dozen, okay! how many questions do i need to answer before you’re satisfied, jesus!” chan was getting on his last nerve and jisung kind of wanted to punch him in the face. with his mouth. 

but chan had beat him to it, and soon the air had gotten a little hotter, and the deep red shorts had gotten tighter. sadly, they both needed air, and they let go. chans forehead rested on jisungs and jisung probably should be worrying about how fast his heart is beating. 

“for how long?” chan asked before moving to leave kisses down jisungs jawline and neck. 

“three weeks now,” jisung moaned, tilting is head back to give chan more of a canvas. he heard chan mumble out a ‘fuck’ into his neck. when he reached the juncture where jisung’s shoulder meets his neck, the younger lost it. 

“hyung,” chan hummed, sucking harder into that spot. he tugs at chans shirt, trying to get it off, “get it off,” chan took his lips off of the younger to take his shirt off, causing jisung to whine. 

“so needy,” chan says in english, making jisung moan a little louder before removing jisungs sweatshirt, throwing it blindly before attacking the youngers neck again. 

“y—you can’t, don’t leave marks,” jisung pushed chan’s head off of his shoulder. “the stylist noonas are going to kill me,”

“yeah, thats probably a good idea,” chan mutters, leaving a few butterfly kisses before looking at jisungs face in its entirety. jisung stared back, and chan couldn’t understand how someone could be this beautiful. 

jisung grinded up, causing chan to moan loudly before repeating the action with more force. “fuck,” jisung moaned. chan flipped them over and repeated the action, gripping jisung by the waist. 

“h-harder,” jisung whimpered, and chan did. jisung felt the pressure around his hips increase and he could only moan, thinking about the marks they’re going to leave in the morning. 

chan groaned, his hands moving to jisungs ass and playing with it. he couldn’t stop thinking about jisung on the bathroom floor, eating twelve donuts a night. “h-hyung, I’m close,”

“me too,” chan growled, smacking the side of jisungs ass and feeling the aftermath. this caused jisung to moan louder and chan to hit him again.

and again. 

and again. 

“h-hyung i,” jisungs voice began to incline in pitch, “i’m gonna—,” he felt one of chans hands leave his ass and lift up his chin,”

“come,” chan said, “come for hyung, yeah?” and jisung lost it, because he’s pretty sure chan didn’t realize it but he had said it in english. he began to shake and soon enough he was coming harder than he ever had, the mess leaking through his shorts onto chan’s pants. seeing jisung was all it took for chan to follow suit, coming in his pants as well. 

the two boys rode out their orgasms until it became too much. jisung blushed again, looking down at his hands. 

“hey, jisung,” 

jisungs voice shook, “y-yeah?” 

“i know I’m doing this backwards and all, but would you like to go on a date?” jisung looked up and smiled. maybe he didn’t have it as rough as he thought.


End file.
